Hi, I'm Jackie.

I just turned 50 and my husband had a major stroke. Within a week, I was a widow. That was enough trauma on its own — but it got harder. At the time, my youngest, eighteen, was still living with us, and within six months he moved out to live with his brother about 45 minutes away. Even though I was grieving, I was happy for him — he had the safety net of his older brother, two years ahead of him.

That being said, I found myself completely alone for the first time in 27 years. How was I supposed to navigate this? I'm no longer a wife. I'm no longer an "active" mother.

I remember turning off all the lights, locking up the house, and walking up the stairs to bed feeling awkward — like I'd forgotten something, or like I was staying in a hotel. It was mine, but it didn't feel like mine yet.

A couple more months passed, and I remember walking by one of my kids' rooms and having an aha moment: I'm going to turn a bedroom into my very own Zen room. A place I could go to relax, contemplate, write, meditate — in other words, do whatever the hell I wanted — and not be disturbed. I loved it. I spent time in it… at first.

Then I noticed I'd started doing all of those things on my couch instead, and rarely went into my Zen room. And then it hit me: I have a WHOLE house that's mine, without the distraction of a husband or kids. That was such a strange, unfamiliar feeling, and it took me a while to come to terms with it.

NOW the question hits me… WHO AM I?

It's been nine years now, and I'm still discovering — or better yet, re-discovering — myself. And let me tell you, it's been hard, fun, scary, uncomfortable, and not quite what I expected. There's the "what do I actually like now?" question. And then there's the dating scene — how do you even do that by yourself, after decades of being partnered? To top it off, my kids all moved to a different state. Talk about a whole new kind of empty nesting.

And that's exactly what I'm offering: help.

Many blessings,
Jackie